'Scuse me? Is That a Smile?

OK people. It's a week into 2012 and already I am experiencing the level 10 come-aparts of others.  Already?  Seriously?  And the message following the come-apart is usually "This is starting off to be a bad year".  Give it a chance!  For the love of god we haven't even had a month.  Just take a deep breath and relax.  Everything is going to be okay!

I know the promise of a new year seems daunting to some, exciting to others, and the rest of the world is like "who gives a shit...happy new...fuck it".  I tend to fall in the excited category.  And I've made some strides to give myself a one-up.  As of J1 mornings  have started with a little self help, self motivation, self love.  As I'm drying my hair, I've been listening to great music and speaking out loud to Carrie.  The message?  It goes a little something like this:

"You are the most interesting woman in the world.  You are talented, smart, beautiful, and you have a knack for finding the good in each day.  What you give is transforming and unforgettable.  The kind meant only for the brave.  And you are so worth it." 

The wind from the blow dryer or a fan helps with dramatic effect.  It's best said wearing a touch of glittery lip gloss. I feel a little ONJ Xanadu circa 1980.  Magic.

I tell myself this until I believe it.  Until I breath it, eat it, taste it.  And it works. Because let's face it, if you aren't telling yourself, who will?  Just get your shit together and start it off right!  I'm only saying this because I have to remind myself on a daily basis that things aren't so bad and I have people surrounding my life who remind me just how beautiful anything can be if you have a sense of humor.

And while we're on the topic of humor, take a moment to observe people who can't seem to laugh at themselves.  It's remarkable, but typically those individuals don't laugh at anything.  They are rarely seen smiling and can't take anything lightly.  They are the sad and the lonely and find if difficult to make friends because there's nothing to share, nothing to give, nothing to gain. Yuck.  If I got my feelings hurt every time my friends made fun of me I'd be the nervous hospital.  They are assholes - and I love every second of their humor.  And my dearest?  My hero? My role model?  Yes, I'm talking about my sister.  She's the worst!  Most of the time we are together, talking, Facebooking, Twittering, Skyping, etc., is spent making fun of one another.  And it's a blast.  We laugh until we cry; until we can't bare to speak and we literally just have to disconnect for a moment.  No hurt feelings - why bother with that?  We're simply pointing out the comedy in our own and each others  human error. 

I'm feeling a little preachy.  Look, I'm not trying to say I have the market cornered on getting over it.  In fact I spend a lot of time in my head dealing with emotions and fears, but more than that I strive to find the better.  It's out there and it's available if you choose it.  And making that choice is scary and vulnerable.  It's easier to hole up and hide form the world.  It's not easy walking in with your head held high and proclaiming "I'm here.  I'm fucking sad as hell but I'm here by god.  I'm here".  

I'm not changing the world, I'm just changing my mind.  Are you sick?  Are you dying?  Are you living in 3rd world squalor?  Then relax and take a step back.  Learn to laugh at yourself because I guarantee someone else is.  And it's probably me and my friends.

Peace.