Elaine and I had a long history and a friendship that has been through a lot, and survived a lot. I met her when I was a wee tot in a class called Mission Friends. We shared a laugh over a fart joke and not much as changed. Any time we see one another, it's always reduced to potty humor and childlike antics. We still manage to find the time to act as if we were 10 years old, laughing like maniacs and punching one another like boys do on a playground. Well, not now as she is clearly prego and that would just be cruel on my part. It doesn't, however, keep her from punching me! Nope, some things never change.
After we had dinner, Elaine, Alex and I all went to my sister's house and started dishing about stories from the past. While we're only in our 30's, telling stories about our youth never gets old, especially when we have a captive audience. Somehow a particularly ridiculous story came up, and we relived it with Dawn and Alex, laughing so hard i nearly sent her into early labor.
Elaine and I were brats, but we were very innocent. We kept each other out of a lot of trouble because all we wanted to do was laugh and have fun. When she got her driver's licenses, she became the one with the wheels. At some point her parents bought her a blue Chevy Beretta. Mistake #1. Elaine drove that car like a bat out of hell. At times you'd see a blue streak zip by blaring Snoop Dogg and, well, Elaine was here. We raced all over town in that car. We were two super heroes out to spread laughter.
Remember the Chevy Beretta?
|"...ain't nuthin' but a G thang, baybay..."|
In fact, out friend Kalan said any time we saw us drive up, he instinctively heard the Batman theme song in his head.
Well, one night we were out way past our curfew and the speed demon, Elaine, decided to make up time by taking an old highway she often used as her personal race track. We were careening down the road when we approached a truck, not going fast enough for her standards. Elaine proceeded to pass the truck and give him the ol' Texas howdy when we were finally in front of him. You know - arm stretched out and the middle finger pointed sharply in the air. It was almost midnight and she was desperate to make it to the driveway before the clock landed at 12:00 am. Speeding down the highway, we were making good time, that is until headlights were gaining on us like a ghost out of the fog.
"Shit! It's that dude in the truck!"
The truck caught up with us and started tailing us like a cop vs. robber chase. We started to freak out and...assume.
"He probably has a gun! He's going to shoot us!"
Nearing 100 mph, we couldn't go much faster. With fear and speed, things would surely end tragically. I looked around the car for...something. Anything to help us.
"I have pillows in the back seat!"
Right! Pillows! Pillows? Yes pillows! So, with all reason and logic, we tied the pillows to our heads and ducked down to avoid bullets busting into the back of our skulls. Why pillows? To held absorb the bullets, of course!
So, seconds until midnight, heading down the road over 100 mph, pillows tied to our heads, screaming like we were running form Jason (of Friday the 13th), the truck's lights seemed like beacons of death. Coming for us to take our young innocent lives.
"Oh crap! Here he comes!"
The truck is now next to us, and the guy looks over at us. Imagine this from his perspective. Two teenage girls, screaming and crying with tears streaming down their faces...and pillows tied to their heads.
He didn't even flip us off.
We finally made it home with hearts pounding and...yes pillows still tied to our heads. I guess we figured he may be lurking around a dark corner to start the chase all over again.
While Elaine and I told this story, both taking the spotlight to fill in the details, Dawn and Alex were holding themselves laughing. We all had watery eyes and that laughing cough. Days later when I had returned to Tulsa, my sister emailed me and said "I love that story. It shows ignorance but it also shows how innocent you were."
It's tales like this that make me realize even the dumbest situations will eventually get a laugh. At a moment in our lives when we thought "This is the end! I love you to the moon and back", it only became one of my dearest and fondest memories.
Elaine will be a mother soon and I am going to be a Godmother (yesssssss). I can't wait to entertain Haven with stories about Mommy and Carrie as stupid, innocent, sass mouthed kids. Better yet, I can't wait to embarrass her with these stories when she and her best friend start to drive.
I still love you to the moon and back. I'm sure if you could have found a way to drive there, we would have gone.